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swayze-jr:

When both of your roommates are gone and you just got home from work and can peacefully smoke a bowl without that one roommate telling you “it’s your hit” or “you’re babysitting” after holding the bowl for 2 minutes. Calm yo tits, it ain’t goin no where and neither are we, so let’s enjoy it.

"I have two daughters, so I’m raising two future women. Maybe! I mean, one of them might be a guy later. It’s possible. It could happen. Someday one of my daughters could be like ‘Dad, I’m really a guy’ and I’ll be like ‘Alright well let’s get you a dick, honey. We’ll get you the nicest dick in town.’"
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Louis CK (reason #94826 why he’s the best comedian)

Somewhere along the way, Louis CK become society’s ideal father and I’m 100% okay with this.

(via mildlyamused)

Anonymous: tell us your most embarrassing story

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

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evilfeminist:

 I’m a huge supporter of things which annoy misogynistic rich white men